Everybody makes mistakes. The bigger they are, the more painful the memory. Many people live with a motto such as "no regrets" or simply recognize that mistakes create the person that exists today and hope that's a good thing.
I agree with those concepts. However, I do regret a few actions. I'm thankful for the person I became, by the grace bought by Jesus Christ, learning through those actions. But I still wish that I had already been the kind of person that did not make those mistakes to begin with.
Here is the story that I regret the most.
The Valediction
When I was in middle school, I went to a high school graduation. Afterward, I asked my dad why some students got to speak. He explained that the valedictorians, those who made a 4.0 GPA, deliver a farewell speech at the graduation.
"I'm going to be a valedictorian." I then decided. And I succeeded.
Years later, I began preparing for the speech. I thought and thought over what message I wanted to share. At the time, I was not a follower of Christ. Therefore, God got a shoutout at the beginning of my speech and that was it.
I was pleased with the final product. The speech explained the importance of goals in a persons life. When a person makes goals, they have direction. Without goals, we wander aimlessly in life, never accomplishing anything.
My final line and conclusion, "A life without goals - a life without purpose - is no life at all."
The Response
Everybody loved it. Some teachers said it was the best valediction they had ever heard. Everyone I knew approved of my message.
The message I shared was the message by which I lived. I went to college with many goals and plans for my life. Graduate, get an awesome job, marry, have kids, enjoy!
...And my first year of college was miserable. By the middle of the second semester I was looking towards all these goals I set and asking, "What's the point? I've set all these goals for my life, but do they really bring meaning? I'm just going to die, right? Who cares if I get rich or get married? And will I really enjoy doing the same job for 40 years? Is giving up that much of my life for money really having a life?"
It was starting to sound like the life I had chosen, and the life I preached at my valediction, was "no life at all" as well.
The Life
These thoughts finally led to my knees before my Lord, declaring that I am a terrible God, that He is worthy of all honor and glory, that I have been rebelling against Him and rejecting Him my whole life, that I deserve punishment, and that I need Him to save me from the just judgment that I deserve.
And He did save me. I died to my sins with Him on the cross, canceling the record of debt that stood against me (Col 2:12-15), and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me, and the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me! (Gal 2:20)
I have found true Life in the past 7 years. Goals do not bring life. Money does not bring life. Entertainment doesn't, people don't, sin doesn't. They all bring only death. But Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6) and He has come the we may have life, and life in abundance! (John 10:10)
The Regret
My biggest regret is that speech. I stood before a captive audience of more than a thousand people, hanging on to my every word, seeking to hear the advice that I would give as they go out into the world.
There, I offered them life...a life full of toiling after goals they create based on their own desires, and a life that would be found wanting in the end, bearing no eternal significance.
If I could have it back, I would spend the time pointing them back to the true bringer of life, Jesus Christ, begging them on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God, for He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. (2 Cor 5:20-21)
Conclusion
So there it is: my biggest regret. I hope any who took my advice to heart ended up walking the same road I did, leading straight into Christ.
I know that one day I will give an account to God for all I have done:
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
Hebrews 4:13-14
But thankfully, as stated above, Christ has made me innocent. I am free from my guilt, and instead can say with Paul:
But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14
As always, I love to hear anybody's feedback, comments, or questions!